31. For MASH-POA, the bombest bus company in all of Kenya.  I lost my ticket (genius move) and they issued me this extremely official replacement. Whatever works!

32. For the chance to meet my new sister, 3-month-old baby Sakina, the lovelight in my eyes.

33. That Faiz is thriving in his new school and has teachers who love and care about him.

34. For the magical Msambweni sunrises that never fail to reaffirm my faith.

35. That I got a chance to see my sister Mariamu at her new home in Likoni.  She is married now, and with a baby on the way!

It’s 4am.  I can’t sleep, I am too happy.  (Full disclosure: the rooster outside my bedroom window with a slightly-off internal time clock is another reason I’m awake. Give me another hour, bud.) The stars are brighter than I’ve ever seen them.  How did I end up in such a blessed place?

Advice? I don’t have advice. Stop aspiring and start writing. If you’re writing, you’re a writer. Write like you’re a goddamn death row inmate and the governor is out of the country and there’s no chance for a pardon. Write like you’re clinging to the edge of a cliff, white knuckles, on your last breath, and you’ve got just one last thing to say, like you’re a bird flying over us and you can see everything, and please, for God’s sake, tell us something that will save us from ourselves. Take a deep breath and tell us your deepest, darkest secret, so we can wipe our brow and know that we’re not alone. Write like you have a message from the king. Or don’t. Who knows, maybe you’re one of the lucky ones who doesn’t have to.

As for the way we have to go, words are no preparation. There is no getting ready other than grace.

—Rumi

 I finally arrived in the single digits after counting down the days for months.  A sharp increase in the amount of time spend daydreaming.

My suitcases are packed. A pink infant Badgers T shirt for Sakina, malaria medication, a few too many books.  

My prayers are flowing from a deeper place. This will be big.

  • to give myself
  • to spend my heart
  • to show kindness and generosity
  • to purposefully connect
  • to dance in the the glory of this opportunity

26. For happy, healthy babies.  All of my Kenyan friends have been having babies since I’ve been gone, and I can’t wait to meet FOUR new little ones! I can’t wait to love on Sakina (Mama’s new baby girl!), Simon’s twin boys, Caroline’s soon-to-be-born sweetie, and Jane’s little girl, Ciru (pictured).

27. For my trusty “internet stick”, (also known as a “Safaricom Internet Anywhere Modem”) which gives me access to all of you lovely people when I’m in the middle of rural Kenya!

28. For Phi Kappa Phi. I could NOT afford to go back to Kenya and do the KEMRI internship if I hadn’t gotten Phi Kappa Phi’s Zillman Fellowship, so I’m eternally grateful!

29. That I’ll be returning to visit my Msambweni family in TWO WEEKS! It’s so close I can taste it.

30. For my new baby cousin, Jordyn.  Giving her lots of extra kisses before I leave!

April 13, 2011

This has been a week of ups and downs at the hospital. Things started out dark. I saw a baby almost die from anesthesia problems on the operating table. Struggling to get the intubation tube inserted in the tiny airway of the baby who’s already paralyzed by the anesthesia, the anesthesiologist called for help, “Haraka, Haraka!” (Hurry, Hurry). Monitors start to beep as the baby’s blood oxygen saturation drops from a healthy 98 down, down, down, until it’s struggling to stay at 5. Blue lips remain quiet instead of struggling for air. As the assistant, I held the button for the emergency oxygen pressed.The doctor massaged the baby’s chest, trying to push in some life. The room is silent for the beeping alerting us of the dire situation, as everyone waits for the baby to respond. Finally, there’s a gasp for air. The oxygen saturation rates start to climb. Relief floods the room. I look down and see that my thumb had turned white from pressing the oxygen button so hard.

The rest of the week was far brighter. I moved to the maternity ward and have gotten to see two babies be born so far! The first birth happened 15 minutes after I entered the ward on my first day—quite the welcoming experience. Seeing the new life emerge and hearing the little boy’s first cry I almost began to cry myself; this is what a miracle looks like. My third day on the ward, things got even more exciting… I delivered a baby! I applied counter pressure, gave an encouraging “Sukuma, Mami!” (Push!), grabbed that cute little head, pulled out each shoulder and caught the infant.It was a healthy baby boy, weighing in at just under 6 pounds. Taking part in this experience was easily one of the most gratifying and life-changing things I’ve ever done— I ushered a new soul into this world.

Nothin’ like the miracle of life.

(Source: writinginkenya)

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